I have been so shocked by the amount of support I’ve received on my IVF series I shared over the last several weeks. If you missed those posts, you can read them here:
- Our Infertility and IVF Story
- IVF Injections and “Stims”
- IVF Egg Retrieval
- Preparing For Our Frozen Embryo Transfer
- IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer
- Finding Out The Results Of Our Frozen Embryo Transfer
So many people have reached out to me and it has been so nice to connect with others on this topic! Infertility and IVF are just plain HARD!
There is no way for me to accurately describe how it feels attempting to come to terms with the fact that you have to do IVF to grow your family. Or hopefully grow your family, I should say. Because it is not guaranteed to work. But there are a few things I did to prepare myself emotionally as best as I could and I am going to share those with you today.
For reference, I wrote today’s post on June 13th, 2018, just a few days before we officially started our IVF cycle. It is a real depiction of how I was feeling at that time. I wasn’t sure if I was going to share this, but after the response I received on my IVF posts, I decided this might be a valuable post to people facing IVF.
I think this is a very important first step in mentally preparing for IVF. I have gone to therapy in recent years and one of my biggest takeaways is that sometimes it is necessary to grieve things that will never be. I had never thought of grief in that way, but it makes perfect sense, especially in this situation. You may be feeling a sense of unfairness that you won’t get to conceive a baby the fun way and surprise your husband and family and friends when you’re pregnant. I know I feel that way. But I think it’s important to feel those feelings and grieve what you need to grieve before you start IVF.
Once you have taken the time you need to grieve and be sad and angry, it’s time to move forward. Fill yourself with positive affirmations and self talk. I have been trying to fill my mind with positive self talk for weeks leading up to the start of our IVF cycle. On a daily basis, I am saying these words to myself:
- I can do this
- My body can do this
- This is going to work for us
- We will get pregnant
- We will have a baby
I even wrote quotes on the IVF tracker I am using for my injections so I am constantly reminded that I can do this! I don’t think anyone looks forward to injecting themselves multiple time a day, but I know this will be worth it if we are able to get pregnant. And I am hoping so hard that will be the case for us.
Focus On Yourself
I am guilty of focusing on everyone else’s needs before my own, but now is not the time for that. This is a time to focus on Chris and myself and what we need to do to get through this is as stress-free as possible. We told our family and friends that they shouldn’t expect to see us for a few weeks and we are going to keep to ourselves during this time. That is what is best for us, but maybe what’s best for you is to surround yourself with family and friends. The whole point is that it’s ok to focus on yourself when you’re preparing for IVF and do whatever will keep you feeling positive during this process. It is ok to be a little bit selfish right now.
I think these words ring true 6+ months after I wrote them. Now that I have been through an IVF cycle, I would still give the same advice to anyone preparing for a cycle. It is an emotional roller coaster and there is no way to avoid that. But by grieving, filling yourself with positive self-talk, and focusing on yourself, hopefully you will be somewhat prepared for the physical and emotional challenges ahead.
Have you done IVF? How did you prepare for it?